My birthday, my life reflections
Let’s celebrate my birthday with an outlook of my journey in the Camming Industry!
– What you allow is what will continue –
June 18th is my birthday, and unlike many years, this is a day is celebrating the moment that I finally found the purpose for life and its fulfillment through the New Camming Perspective.
As many of you already know, the New Camming Perspective is responsible for the introduction of the Social Aspect and related reflections in the Adult Camming Industry, a no-law land that until 2016 associated the camming activity only to Female Objectification through free teasing and models’ passive behavior.
The growth of the New Camming Perspective is a result of a lot of study, effort and dedication in different areas of knowledge. But not only that. There are people in the backstage that I would like to honor today, because without them I would never have gotten so far.
Davi-Strauss – He is my English teacher, and the main responsible for the explosion of New Camming Perspective most recently, because, as the first premise of this approach says, communication is essentially verbal, and without the precise domain of the language, there is no development, in any career, in any industry – not even in Adult Camming Industry. In practice, it means that all kind of knowledge is useless if you do not know how to express it – even the ones that come from academia.
I had never studied English formally before (in Brazil we do not learn it at school), and such limitation has always kept me away from reaching higher levels in my career. That’s why I highly recommend the investment in English classes for all non-native English speakers interested in succeeding in this business regardless of the career’s goal (yes, the ability of establish rapport is much more profitable than objectification through free tease). So, thanks a lot, Davi, for teaching me how to speak English properly which has been leading me to finally explain the world what exactly the New Camming Perspective is! For the first time in 9 years I am confident enough to become who I was born to be!
Thiago Rolim – He is my therapist, and in general terms, I can say that without him I would not have survived until this moment (yes, as dramatically as it sounds!). I started my career in Adult Camming Industry 9 years ago. I suffered cyberbullying on internet and real bullying among 'friends' in my own country when I became a successful camgirl. I lived double-life for many years. I had depression because I felt isolated since it is too hard to maintain solid friendships in the "camming community", and outside it is really difficult to talk about this work without being judged. I suffered from realizing that we live in an extremely prejudiced society that divides women between "get married with" vs. "to have sex with" and most men do not want a serious relationship with a camgirl.
It was not easy for me to realize that before I started camming I was “Priscila” and the world gave me a kind of treatment – a very positive one – and since the day I became “Livia”, in order to work as a camgirl, everything changed drastically.
In therapy, we wondered if all this was happening only with me and if this was the only possible way to survive financially: living a double-life.
When the New Camming Perspective kicked off with its first ideas in 2016 and the first models started trusting me to share their personal stories, I realized that all these issues that I was facing were not “my issues” but, basically, the reality of the most of the camgirls. It hurt me a lot; instead of comfort, I felt despair.
My greatest shock of reality was in my first seminar in 2016 on a panel where the models were talking about “how to succeed as a camgirl” and some of them were explaining to the audience how “wonderful it was teasing in Free Live Chat; the best part of the job!”. Not only that, but also coaching the audience to follow their steps, teaching them how to succeed “smiling to all the clients, following ALL the requests, avoiding repeating outfits…”
My mouth couldn’t keep up with my mind, it was an eye-opener: the suffering of a camgirl begins the day she replaces her real name for a stagename and starts living a double-life. In order to succeed, sometimes it implies in lying about not only the name, but also marital status, age, and nationality in order to bring in more clients to their room and to feel more protected online.
In one of the few opportunities to voice their frustrations and claim for changes, they chose to remain passive and say that they love all of it for real. The idea is that if the models are reinforcing this negative trend without making their human condition evident to the business leaders, they have no way to know that they are making rules that harm them. That’s why the trend is that if no one says anything against, the rules become more and more aggressive and the camgirls more and more depressed.
I came back from this Summit pleased with my first award, the Social Media Star, but still quite worried. Someone has to speak up about the camgirls’ condition as human beings in this lawless land. I didn’t ask to be this person, because I really don’t like to speak in public, and so far I hadn’t seen myself as a leader. But there was nothing else to be done.
Since then, I have started to do everything that I had to, in order to introduce the Social Aspect in the Industry, even if it were necessary to be radical in my speech.
People were shocked at first until the New Camming Perspective became a reality on ImLive.com and I suffered the consequences – such as having to cope with people doubting my Ph.D., creating fake accounts on twitter and making jokes about social science not being real science, etc. But I have always known this would happen. I can’t say I was ready, but I knew it was worthwhile.
The therapy helped me – and keeps helping me – believe in myself. So I also recommend, formal therapy for everyone working in this industry as the best investment to appease anxiety and other discomforts that life outside the traditional spectrum can awaken in anyone.
How about the present? I have been receiving many messages about people asking me if I am happy now that I have a job position, as the Social Scientist of one of the biggest companies of our Industry, Imlive.com, a dream job. And if it is really a dream job, why am I still insisting on the application of the New Camming Perspective so passionately, as if I were still defending myself?
Well, it is true that I was able to solve some of my life, abdicate from my stage name e introduce myself socially again with my real name, but what about all the others? Of course I am not pleased enough. I will only feel happy when the New Camming Perspective grows, when there are no ads objectifying women; nor rules that do not make sense in camsites asking for them to tease for free; and no kind of incentive to female dehumanization, such as the daily use of vibe toys as a survival tool in this business.
Believe it or not, but we came to a point where I heard from an Industry colleague that he thinks is odd when he takes a woman's clothes off in real life and she does not have a vibe toy inside. What can be more inhumane than that? Associate a female body with a control device, which must keep connected to secure her position on the host list and make pennies with tips? All these women will be sick soon and few care. The New Camming Perspective will continue, with ethics, studies, and focus on women's empowerment.
I'm a survivor. With many scars. This means I have got hurt but, most importantly, I become stronger. I am not afraid of showing who I am.